Very unhappy right now, but I have no one to blame but myself. The past 4 days have been a joke. The weekend was a joke, so Monday and Tuesday I was overcompensating by not eating enough, and by the end of the day I would be starving and eat a ton of crap. This past Monday I was supposed to be 153 lbs. Well guess what the scale said this morning? 156.6 lbs.
Yeah. NOT GOOD.
That’s over 3 pounds gained from last Wednesday. Now I’m really hoping that it’s at least partially water weight and bloat, from taking in so much salt and sugar. I’m hoping that I only set myself back a week, and THIS coming Monday I’ll be 153 lbs. I think if I can swing that, I can still get to around 145 with time to have my dress altered.
Very disappointed in myself. I mean, I know I’m human and all, but I just don’t understand how I can kid myself into thinking stuff like that is ok! We are now like, 59 days away from the wedding, which means I have 5 or 6 weeks MAXIMUM, and I want to lose 10 more pounds! Plus, next week I have to go to Wisconsin to help my mom, who is having surgery. I know it’s going to be a stressful time, I’m going to be away from home (which apparently just always ruins everything), and I’m very nervous about it. I’ll be coming back on the 25th or 26th, and my wedding dress is due to arrive around then. I have to force myself to eat right – I want to be at most 150 when I first put on the dress.
Upon weighing myself and seeing that horrible number, I immediately downed an enormous glass of water, which I’m going to do before and after eat medifast meal. No getting hungry today. I’ll eat my medifast, eat a modest dinner, and that’s it. Then I’ll do the same thing tomorrow. And the next day. And I’ll exercise. I’m feeling very under the weather today, but I’m going to walk at least 3 miles after I eat. No messing around. I don’t want to be kicking myself on my wedding day when I don’t look the way I’d planned. I can do this. I’m in control. I’m the only one who decides if I succeed or fail.